Who We Are vs. What We Want

When I was 15, my mother cursed me, “One day, you’ll have a daughter that’s just like you. Then you’ll realize how much we’ve suffered as your parents.” Back then I thought ‘Suffer? These people don’t realize what a blessing I am. I’ll be happy to be my parent!’

When I was in high school, I wanted to be the most popular girl in my class. I sort of was. But not for the reasons I wanted to be.
When I was 16, I wanted to be a singer. Now I know, instead of selling out Madison Square Garden, I’d have cleared it out.

Sometimes, who we are and what we want aren’t always in sync. For example,

The times when we want to be the life of the party but we can’t because we’re too shy.
The times when we look at someone drinking wine and enjoying modern art and wish we could do that but we can’t because we don’t understand “Modern Art.”
The times when we want to go bungee jumping, but we’re not brave enough.
The times when we want to just pack our bags and travel around the world, but we’re not adventurous enough.
The times when we want to be – the classy Audrey Hepburn type people, the ones that lead an organized life, the ones who know how to eat a Subway without spilling the vegetables on the tray – but we can’t because – we’re too messy, we pick comfort over looks and we enjoy our Subways too much to care about spilling.

Our lives have always been and will always be a battle of Who we are vs. What we want. But with time and life experiences, we grow wiser. We understand who we are and our wants become more realistic, more of who we are.

Today I can accept that I was wrong while I pray that my mother’s curse doesn’t come true. Because today I know..

A blessing to my parents isn’t who I am.. It’s what I want to be.

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