I fell for a guy recently. He is possibly one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met. We had a lot of chemistry. I thought that was enough. But when we started talking about what our relationship would be like if we got into a serious one, I had to stop myself and ask “Is this what I want?”
Though almost everything about us worked perfectly well together, something wasn’t in sync – Our lifestyles.
My needs were his comforts. What I deemed necessity, he considered fortune. Things he thought were unimportant, I couldn’t imagine living life without. It was as if I was reading the fine print in the “Terms & Conditions” part. When I pointed this out to him, he asked me to stop talking like a “gold digger.” I tried to explain to him why his name calling made no sense, but he refused to understand. How many guys out there make this mistake? How many women have tried to explain and failed at it? Let me help.
A gold digger (according to Wikipedia) – is slang for a greedy person (stereotypically a woman) who only dates (and subsequently marries) wealthy partners with the (typically) sole intention of exploiting said wealth.
I wasn’t looking for his wealth, or anybody’s really. I have absolutely no problem earning my own wealth and paying for my own life. But the guy has to have the ability to live that life with me. Someone who considers my necessities as fortune, will forever, secretly or outspokenly, judge me for “wasting” my money on things that “he believes” I don’t need. Imagine living like that everyday..
When we can’t share our lives, when we can’t find common ground without being judgmental, the relationship is doomed to fail. I would rather step back now and save both me and him from all the drama and hurt rather than letting it drag on only to realize in the end, that that relationship will never work. We’re too different.
This makes me a practical thinker. Not a gold digger. BIG DIFFERENCE.
But just like me, so many other women across the world are misjudged. We can’t just walk into a relationship and believe the rest’ll work itself out. We have to stop and think of even the smallest of differences. We have to wonder if this is an adjustment we can make and live with for as long as we’re alive. We have to be realistic.
Surely, there are plenty of gold diggers out there. I don’t support them and I don’t share their views of exploiting someone else’s hard-earned money. But I do believe lifestyle differences can sometimes be a make-or-break point. Now, this might sound stupid to some of you, but our lifestyle is a huge part of who we are. Where you live, how you live, what you consider comfort and what you consider need – this is what your entire life is made up of. Stop to think about this every time you think of getting serious.. It may save you from a lot of fighting and regret in the long run..
Then again, as a sincere fairytale believer, I have to say – If you’re truly, madly, deeply in love, nothing else matters… 🙂