Let me begin by saying, Happy Independence Day / Weekend to every Indian out there..
My grandmother was here to visit a few days ago and in the middle of a normal conversation, she suddenly turned to me and asked, “Do you want to get married? There’s a boy looking for a bride.” My face was probably a comic strip with shock, fear and absolute horror. “Of course not. I’m so young !”
Note : Born into a culture that encourages arranged marriages, I am blessed with parents who would happily nod their head should I bring a man I love and ask for permission. However, I choose to get into an arranged marriage for two very important reasons.
1. I honestly believe that my parents know me better than I do. Also, I’ve given them the checklist. So now it’s their problem you see..
2. There is a certain quality that I am drawn to in men. It is a quality every guy I fall for or date possesses. That specific quality is called – Mentally Unstable. I don’t think it is fair that my future generations should suffer for my bad choices.
Turns out, I’m not that young. In fact, my dad promises that this might just be the first of many such proposals that people from different social groups will bring to the table in the near future. This is also a warning – The timer is officially on.
And with every tick-tock I can feel the future, I dreamed about as a teenager, inch closer and closer. It is no longer “When I’m older, I will..” It’s along the lines of – “Now it’s time to..”
I can deny it, I can run from it or I can accept it. The one thing I cannot do is turn back time or make it stop.
We all have these lists of things-to-do. Not particularly a bucket list but just certain things we want to do before we reach a certain point in our lives. I have a list of things to do before I get married :
- Write a book – I don’t have to publish it, but I have to finish writing it.
- Read every book on my list – I will be sure to post the list later.
- Travel alone.
- Go hiking in North India.
- Visit as many religious places as possible – Not as a spiritual person but from an artist’s point of view to absorb the architectural marvel that people in ancient times with no modern technology were able to achieve.
- Learn to cook.
- Invent a recipe and master it.
- Get rid of any addiction.
By addiction I do not always mean drug abuse or being an alcoholic. There are simple things in life that we get so used to, we forget what it feels like to live without it. I found the one thing I spend 14 hours a day on – Facebook.
On any given day, if someone had asked me to delete my Facebook account, I would have laughed and said no. But this time, I voluntarily did that and I cannot explain how ridiculous I felt when the first night without it I felt so insecure because I did not know what the world was doing. I felt a little ashamed that my life had come to that.
I have chosen to adapt a healthier lifestyle – It is not enough if your mind desires a hiking trip. Your body has to agree too.
Someone from the outside may say that these are small changes, but in my life, these are mighty and I wonder..
If you read my previous blog, I mentioned that someone was hospitalized. If that hadn’t happened, my grandmother would not have visited me on that particular day which automatically means she would not have mentioned a groom on the looks and I would not have gotten a one hour lecture on how the future is here. My Facebook account would still be intact and I would still be addicted and insane.
Everything happens at a certain time and everything happens for a reason. The one week I spent walking through hospitals made me realize I’m getting older. My grandmother’s question made me want to act on that realization and I don’t care how childish this sounds – I am proud to have taken those baby steps towards the things I want. And I hate to accept just how peaceful I feel knowing that I’m working towards my goals.
We don’t always get to choose what happens, when. We have all cursed time at some point in our lives. On Independence Day, my grandmother turned 79 and I cursed time for aging her too fast. I cursed time for taking away the years I spent with her and turning it into mere memories. I thanked time for not slowing down and letting me grow up when she looked at me with so much pride and said “My granddaughter bought me a birthday dress with her money !” Time is our worst enemy when we’re happy and our best friend when we’re upset. Time is the only thing we cannot control. It hurts and it heals. Whether you’re a billionaire or a homeless person, time does not sway and only gives you 24 hours in a day. Time is the only thing that treats us all as equals. And when you think about it, time is all you have to do anything in this world.
Trust in the timing of your life..