Because I’m Happy

Happiness. That’s the ultimate goal. We all want to be happy. The moment we throw our heads back and laugh without a care for the world. When we cry with joy and sigh with contentment. When everything feels calm. When life feels serene. Sounds so perfect, doesn’t it?

So what does that for you? What makes you happy?

My mother’s friend was planning on sending her son to university in a foreign country. Unfortunate for them, the plan was cancelled last minute and he got stuck here. During a fight about the whole situation, he said “I cannot live here. This place does not make me happy. I need to go there to be happy.”

Do you remember a time in your life when you were so happy that it was undescribable? When nothing you will ever say could sum up what you felt at that very moment? Was it the place? Was it the people? Was it you?

I remember, when I was a kid, my grandmother and I used to play cricket with a plastic bat and ball in the living room. There were only two rules. When I held the bat, everything was a winning hit. When she held the bat, she lost in the first play. I was so happy. It was a tiny house with a living room the size of my current bathroom. We didn’t have a lot of money and we didn’t have a lot of things. It was the happiest time of my life.

I feel like, as we grow up, we begin to feel more miserable by the day. What we feel no longer depends on the people who love us or the moments we have. Our happiness starts being defined by the person sitting next to us. She has an iPad. He has a Ferrari. They have a Phd. His family is bigger. They are more in love than we are. I don’t have those things. My life isn’t like theirs. I have nothing. I don’t feel enough. My house is smaller. My car is older. And I won’t be happy until I get that particular iPhone with the slow motion capture or that fancy car with those amazing speakers. I won’t be happy until I am loved as much as he is.

“You wrecked my happiness by not giving me enough !”

That is not right. I do not agree with the concept that I will only be happy when I have what someone else does too. That I can only be happy when I’m loved like someone else is. It’s not how it works.

I’ve had some very unhappy moments. But they came from within, not from the outside. When I’m upset, I can’t blame the next person for it. I will always have more than someone else and if I don’t know how to use the opportunities presented to me, that’s my fault. There is always someone looking at us and thinking “I want what they have so I can be happy.” Instead of gloating in that feeling, wouldn’t it be nice to set an example ?!

And often, people get the feeling of happy and lonely mixed up. They presume that if you’re lonely, you’re depressed. But that’s not true. You can be so utterly happy and yet feel unbelievably lonely because you don’t have someone to share that happiness with.

We don’t need that man, that woman, that mansion, his car, her earrings, their life – because you can have it all and feel absolutely miserable. You can be sitting on top of the world and be the most unhappiest person on the planet. Take a look at a poverty stricken area in your neighborhood. I will assure you there are more people laughing there than in that of a fancy gated community. They are not happy from the money. They are not happy from the fancy phones or cars that they cannot have. They are happy from within.

Any moment of joy you will ever feel has to come from you. Because I can give you the best of the best but know that with time, something better will come along and you will be exactly where you were all over again.

I’ll say it now and I’ll say it always. Life is shitty. It’s miserable for the most part. There’s always the lack of something or someone. If we want to start picking on all the things that are wrong, we will spend the rest of our lives feeling so irrepairably miserable and depressed. There’s never a moment in your life when something is not right. Find that. Hold on to that little positive thought. And choose to smile. Be happy. Not because it’s what’s expected. Not because you’ve got something someone else doesn’t. Not because you’re loved like no one else is.

Be happy because you can be.

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33 thoughts on “Because I’m Happy

  1. Teresa Coppens says:

    Love your style. And yes, we often feel unhappy. But that too is part of life. Things change and sometimes the adjustment is hard. My kids are starting to leave the “nest”. Sometimes I feel sad about what I am losing but at the same time I am so thrilled my kids are beginning a new adventure in their life. As long as we don’t feel unhappy all the time and learn to adjust to new situations and stages in life a little unhappiness is part of the journey!

    Having said that I agree with so much of what you have laid out in your post. Feeling unhappy about things we don’t have and focusing on the negative is certainly not a great way to live life. It goes by so very fast!

  2. kunaaldoshi says:

    ahh, have been thinking about this a lot too…happiness is hard to get, but amazing once you have found it…have you ever wondered why we humans know that happiness is good for us, yet do not seem to make enough of it for our selves?

    like your topic and the way you approached it!

    • LoudThoughtsVoicedOut says:

      I think maybe we look at happiness the way we look at greens. We know it’s healthy and that it’s very good for us. But we’re afraid to taste it fearing the bitterness it might leave behind. I am always more on edge when I’m happy than when I’m upset because I’m waiting for the disaster. There’s always one.

      Thank you so much 🙂

  3. f2fzone says:

    Hi,
    I found your blog through leaving a question on the daily post community pool post and I am glad that I did. I think this post is beautiful in the sense that not only are you communicating something you feel but also inspiring others to feel that way as well. I think your blog overall has a unique way of connecting with the reader. Thank you for allowing others to see your lovely thoughts!

  4. taris19 says:

    you are so right. you just described this all and all I can think is “Materialistic things can not make us happy.” wow…. Nice job I’m so glad that you wrote this. Thank you so much…… 🙂

  5. elvagreen123 says:

    The one thing that makes me truly happy is that my daughter and her 25 year old son are speaking to each other with love, having lunch together and laughing together. For about 10 years that was not the case. There is no material thing that could ever top them loving one another and showing it.

  6. alanjryland says:

    Fantastic read.

    I’ve been very unhappy and still struggle with a lot. This was going to be a very morose time for me, but I’m happy things have been working themselves out. Got out of homelessness, for one. Was terrified that I’d have nowhere to sleep on Thanksgiving, or Christmas. It depressed the hell out of me. So I’m happy to have a roof over my head, though there’s still so much I need to do and work on. It’s been an uphill battle, but there’s been a lot of improvement. Happy to have a job again and one that I actually LOVE at a place I can see myself staying at for a good, long while, too.

  7. starlightdaydreamer says:

    Loved this post! When you talked about playing cricket with your grandmother, it reminded me of when I was younger and used to visit my grandparents. They are some of the happiest memories I have and I’d give anything to be able to go back and relive them, but I’m grateful that I have them to look back on. When I see really young children with something technological (I often see seven and eight year olds with iPhones …) I wonder if they’ll be able to look back on their childhood and appreciate the simplicity of being a child like I can.
    Again, loved this post! You’ve gained yourself a new follower! =)

    • LoudThoughtsVoicedOut says:

      I always wonder that. I wish, when I have a kid, I could teach him/her how amazing life outside the LED screen can be.. But I know it’s only going to get worse with time. 😦 Technology has ruined the future generations’ ability to learn and experience life in the simplest of ways.
      Thank you for reading, commenting and the follow 😀

  8. thebeautycanvas says:

    Happiness is a choice! The only thing the majority tends to forget is that this choice is hard work 😉 (I can totally relate with your Mom’s friends son, I’m not very happy being back in Germany, but I returned to eventually make it to a better place (education is free here, so once I’ve completed my studies, I’m out lol) 🙂

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