To The Girl In Her Mid-20’s

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Photography – Ravi Roshan

 

You’ve spent so many years looking forward to this phase of your life. And it always looked so cool. So glamorous. So filled with love and laughter.

Yet here you are. With knowledge that it’s anything but.

It’s messy buns and messier lives. It’s baggy shirts and overflowing laundry bags. It’s a lot of work and never enough money. It’s freedom with responsibilities. And life is no longer what it seemed.

Different people are doing different things.

Your best friend’s getting married. Your old classmate is killing it with success. Your ex is happy in love. Your old mate is drowning in drugs. Different people are doing different things. But not you. You’re just existing. You’re getting through everyday a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all.

You spend your Friday evenings holed up in a corner because you’re too responsible to drink your night away. Too control freakish to lose yourself to someone else’s tunes. But somehow, this isn’t enough. This life you’re living doesn’t feel complete. Loneliness wraps around you like a blanket you love and you wonder where you went wrong. Why you became different to everyone else.

“Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there a reason why it was never me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Alone? Unsuccessful? Filled with dreams that never come true?”

And your hands reach out to your phone. One text. One call. To that someone who might make you feel pretty. Who might make you feel important. And your need takes over.

The need to feel accepted. To feel appreciated. To feel adored. To feel loved.

And it is so strong, you forget your sanity for a few minutes of flattery. You lessen your worth for dishonest words. The hurt in your heart, camouflaged. If only for a few seconds.

But it’s never enough. And when you wake up, it’s worse. The hammering of your heart so loud in your ears. A memory of last night frustratingly haunting. Yet another mistake. Yet again.

You scream hateful words to yourself. When will I ever learn? You go over those messages. Those conversations. How you fell right back into a ditch when you knew better. Just for a moment, you wish you weren’t yourself.

And in that moment, read these words:

Breathe. It’s not so bad. You think I don’t understand. But I do. Because I’m there, too. I’ve made that call. I’ve texted that wrong person. I’ve woken up with regrets. I still do. I’ve felt the need to be held. I’ve felt that silent green monster towards a friend in love.
Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do.

So please, don’t hate yourself. And don’t stop. Don’t stop loving with all you have. Don’t stop wishing on every shooting star. Don’t stop dreaming of fairytales and being as amazing as Malala Yousafzai. You might not always get there, but don’t stop.

You have so much left to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to be read. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. You haven’t lived half your life yet. There’s so much ahead. And in ten years, when you look back, you’ll wish you were here again.

So don’t waste it wallowing in your own sadness. Don’t lose yourself to your self-pity and non-existent boundaries. Use everyday. And I don’t mean spend thousands of dollars and visit the North Pole. I know how you’re struggling to make ends meet.

Do the simple things. Stop procrastinating. Take a walk with nature. Go to the gym. Read your favorite book for the millionth time. Watch a movie. Write your novel. Sketch until you’re better than the best. Eat like you’re dying tomorrow. And most importantly, make mistakes. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Don’t live with “Could-have-been’s.” Take chances.

And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember – It’s okay to be alone.

There is time to let your life revolve around someone else. But today, let it revolve around you.

Not because you can’t find someone. Not because you can’t be loved.

But because you deserve to wake up with a smile. You deserve to live life. To make memories so wild, you’ll be the coolest grandparent they’ve ever known.

Breathe. It’s only your mid-20’s.

You’re going to be alright.

 

 

 

187 thoughts on “To The Girl In Her Mid-20’s

  1. Anjali Konathala says:

    wow….being a pessimistic critic…nothing has really touched me in so long like this article has….if this is you…i gotta say….im in no way different….but i dont write it out…anymore…but its a nice feel…to know atleast in your troubles ull never be alone….

  2. maria9saif says:

    Hey, I came across your blog from the community pool. I too am in my twenties, i’ll be graduating soon and I can relate to so much of what you are saying. i’m mostly worried about where i’ll end up after I graduate..will I get a job? will I be able to adjust? am I competent enough?…that last one really worries me and I frequently zone out thinking about all of this but fingers crossed things will work out.
    I hope all goes well for you too. Your post was very comforting.
    check out my blog some time too
    https://maria9saif.wordpress.com/
    🙂

  3. Salima Sisy says:

    This is so true. I thought I was alone but then this article helped put everything into perspective. Yes it’s ok to be alone. Thanks

  4. linetpreshma says:

    Wow.. Loved the way you took me on the journey of my life! We all go through the same phase.. But vl get it right 🙂

  5. Sparkyjen says:

    I’m 40+ years ahead from my 20’s, and I know the world has changed by leaps and bounds. Still, hope and promise comes with every new day. Make a short term plan and a long term plan. Live life “as if” its golden!

  6. itsmayurremember says:

    Hey!

    It has been a while since I have been on your blog, but this post was really good. Okay that is an understatement.

    I don’t know if you see TED talks or not but there is one on regret and the closing statement: The thing about regrets is they are not as big as they seem to be

  7. Bhavz says:

    Thank you! I really needed this! Do I work , or do I continue studies? Why is everyone getting married?! Why is everyone travelling but me!? …. It’s all so frustrating at times.

  8. charity says:

    I love that piece mid twenties those are exact feelings but u nailed it right.live each day as it comes dream all you can .Good work

  9. husainanas says:

    And most importantly, make mistakes. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Don’t live with “Could-have-been’s.” Take chances.

    Absolute Beauty

  10. Niveditha says:

    I just can’t stop reading it again and again…feeling somewhat relieved 😉 yay!! Its okay to be alone 😀

  11. iKomusana says:

    I loved reading this.. because I can relate. but more importantly loved how everything you said is so hilariously true..
    now am a follower
    let me go eat like am dying tomorrow

  12. klenah says:

    this just made my week a lot better,there is alot of pressure to succeed in this generation given the continous failing economies and unemployment,we are all doing the best we can…its good to know so many people can relate

  13. Anika Srivastava says:

    I am blessed of this time that makes me feel that someone is there who is totally a stranger but still understands me, you.
    I don’t know you but I know you have given me hopes.
    Love you . 😘

  14. Benjamin Ngiam says:

    For sure, not just the ladies can relate to this post haha! Well, y’know what they say:

    “Hakuna Matata!” – No worries for the rest of the days 🙂

    Cheers for awesome article!

    Your pal,
    Benjamin

  15. Tanvi says:

    Never came across such an incredible piece of writing ever. I searched Google millions of time so that I can feel better. It seemed that my thoughts were pen down by myself. This brought a great smile on my face.
    Thankyou. You have done a great job fella!

  16. Nishma Khetia says:

    This is so beautiful 🙂 I am 23 and it’s exactly how I feel. Many lonely nights, too many dreams and too little money. I have followed your blog by email. I am a newbie at blogging too. Loved your blog

  17. CenterofAttraction says:

    Hi. I don’t know you. You don’t know me either. But the stuff you write answers all the stupid thoughts in my mind. You have no idea how much effect your writings have on most of them. Thank you, thank you for inspiring. Keep writing, keep giving us strength. Trust me sometimes there are things we don’t wanna share with anyone. But somehow, you read straight through my mind. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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