To The Ones Who Are Afraid

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I wanted to be a writer when I wrote the lamest poem I’ve ever known and held it up with pride. I wanted to be a writer when writing a letter I’ll never send to him brought me peace. I wanted to be a writer when I started a blog to shed light on my darkness. I wanted to be a writer before I even knew what it meant. I wanted to be a writer.

It was a late night phone call. He silently sobbed. “I hate my job you know? I can’t sit there anymore. But I have no choice.” It broke my heart.

“Why can’t you quit? Why can’t you go do what you want?”

“It’s not as easy as you believe it to be.”

How many times have you heard that? How many times have you said that? Chasing your dreams is not an easy task. Sometimes, it’s impossible. In my world, it’s exactly what it’s called – A dream.

I find myself laughing at such statements.

Tell me, what is easy?

Learning alphabets wasn’t easy. Learning multiplication wasn’t easy. Passing high school wasn’t easy. University wasn’t easy. Finding a job wasn’t easy. Dealing with your nightmare of a boss wasn’t easy. Marriage. Children. Grandchildren. Old age. Sickness. What is easy?

I’ve woken up in the morning unsure if we’d have something to eat. That wasn’t easy. I’ve studied for an exam while dealing with family drama. That wasn’t easy. I’ve limped my way to classes after my first foot injury. That definitely wasn’t easy.

Nothing in this world that is constantly at each other’s necks is ever easy.

But if there was something that could make those days better, worthier, would you do it?

Because I’ve been where you are. In that moment where it’s all about a choice. There is the road that’s been taken and proven. And then that road nobody knows of. The one you hear stories about. “Her daughter’s friend took the road not taken. She is now a drug addict on seventh street,” or “His son is now homeless at central station because that’s where the road not taken leaves you.”

It is everything your heart desires. It is everything they don’t want for you.

It is everything I hope you’ll choose.

I have to warn you, it’s not all bed of roses. The roads your heart leads you to are filled with thorns. Ones that hurt. Ones that make you bleed. Ones that will make you want to give up.

So is the path he took.

Because nothing in this complicated universe is ever easy. Every path you take has darkness in it. It has chaos. It has drama.

No, it won’t be easy at all.

But that moment when you wake up, knowing in your heart, that in a day filled with things that are meant to drag you down, you are about to go chase the dream they all told you you couldn’t – it will be worth it.

 

quotes-talent-courage-erica-jong-480x480Yes, they’ll tell you differently. “Not everyone who tries makes it. What if you spend the rest of your life living on granola bars and four roommates?”

Tell them, with your head held high and a look of pride, “At least I’ll wake up happy.”

I woke up in the morning, smiling. A sense of satisfaction with no achievements. It wasn’t the world they’d dreamt for me. It wasn’t a world they wanted for me. But it is mine. It was what I chose. It was a dark path that brought me here. But it is mine.

I live with my parents still. No time for a love life. No money for a social one.

But I wanted to be a writer. And so I am. Happily.

 

 

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19 thoughts on “To The Ones Who Are Afraid

  1. Praveen Rathore says:

    Your writing is simple yet elegant. I have been following your posts since past couple of months and trust me they have been a treat to read.
    The things you write are not just your experiences but something which everyone feels, it just connects with everyone who read it.
    Just love your writings and hope one day I can also write like you. You have inspired me, thank you for that.

  2. Sparkyjen says:

    Bravo! If you are doing what you love to do, then whether easy or difficult…it’s so worth it. In my opinion, there’s absolutely, positively, nothing wrong with offering your brain a challenge. In fact, research shows that giving ourselves too easy a task is a hindrance. If you want to keep growing brain cells, do something challenging. If you love what you do, and do it even though it keeps you from keeping up with what other people are doing, at least, you are growing in ways maybe they are not. No loss. Just win!!! [Found you at the Community Pool]

  3. blottedmind says:

    Lovely. Its a fantastic reminder that we are what we choose to be. We are not born as a blogger or a writer or a dancer or a singer or a pessimist. Beyond the fear of failure, beyond the fear of being humiliated, lies the liberation of a spirit that wants to soar free. 🙂

  4. Diya says:

    Yet another lovely post from your pen (umm…keyboard?). Your wonderful personality just shines through and cheers to you for chasing your dreams no matter how dark the paths may be. Write on!

  5. One More Shot Please says:

    Poornima, you are so inspirational. I read your old post “To The Man I’ll Marry,” as well and oh my gosh, I was nearly in tears. You have made me rethink everything and the concept of a successful marriage. I decided to follow my own path as well so I understand what it feels like. At least now, I am happy. Even if I am not an engineering major anymore and I probably won’t be minting money. I am so excited to read your other work. Maybe I will just do a Loud Thoughts Voiced Out marathon lol. Subscribed! Anyways, it would mean so much to me if you took a look at my blog and gave me advice to improve, and subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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